Like a large proportion of generation interwebs, I suffer fairly intense browse-induced hypochondria. But yesterday was different. Yesterday I Asked Jeeves an honest question, something along the lines of “how early can people develop amnesia?” Aka: Can you please help me get my life together, Jeeves? But in all seriousness, I have - and probably have had since birth – a particularly conspicuous strand of Anosognosia (!!!). In other words, I have a severe lack of spatial awareness.
I’ll be walking along envisioning how my life would be if I was an elite figure skater – would I be tandem or solo? Blue lycra or black? Are those little bedazzled tutus tacky, or fiercely bold? And then, THWACK – pole to the face. The amount of times someone at my workplace has kindly asked if ‘everything is ok at home,’ is highly embarrassing and an unfair reflection of my delightful housemates. Just last week I had to take my mac book in to the store and earnestly profess that I didn’t for the life of me understand why it kept sounding these three apocalyptic beeps, or how the screen was such a flickery pixelated mess. It definitely wouldn’t be the ninth late night glass of red wine I gauchely spilled all over it, or the crusty rogue guacamole lurking under the keys. Just days after the mac book incident, a random stranger showed up at my house with my wallet, saying he found it on the street. “Oh yeah thanks, I’ve totally be looking for that all week and definitely knew it was missing.”
Every day I feel like I am living in a body that is far too big for me. It’s like wearing an Easter bunny suit all year round. My large awkward paws acting like homing missiles for ANY beverage within a two metre radius, and average vision impaired by big floppy ears. I am telling you, the struggle is real. It kind of makes me sad too, to think how much I may be missing out on in life. What else is passing me by while I stare at butterflies or trying to befriend stray cats? So yesterday, I decided to make beetroot spiked gnocchi - a dish so iridescently purple was impossible not to notice.
- About 3 cups of pureed potato and beetroot (60:40)
- About 2 1/2 - 3 cups wholemeal spelt flour
- 3 large tablespoons Greek yoghurt
- Pinch nutmeg
- 1 teaspoon pink Himalayan salt
- 1 egg
- Two cups finely chopped white mushrooms
- 4 slices finely chopped prosciutto + three slices halved
- About 1/4 cup finely chopped sage + a few whole leaves
- 1 whole orange + 1/2 lemon pureed
- 80g garlic butter
- Olive oil
- Fresh shaved Parmesan (to serve).
- Once potato and beetroot puree has cooled, combine with egg, salt, nutmeg and salt.
- Add in flour a bit at a time until dough starts forming and becoming less sticky.
- Knead on a floured bench until dough is dry to touch.
- Roll into a ball, wrap and refrigerate for at least 30 mins.
- Roll out into long thin rolls and cut pieces to desired size.
- Boil until gnocchi float to the top of saucepan.
- For the sauce, fry butter until it starts to bubble and brown. Add in mushrooms. sage and prosciutto and simmer for a few minutes.
- Add in citrus puree and simmer until sauce thickens.
- In olive oil, fry remaining prosciutto strips and sage leaves until crisp.
- Toss gnocchi through sauce and serve with crispy prosciutto, sage and fresh shaved Parmesan.