As a nineties hatchling, it is fair to say I am intrinsically dissenting. One of my favourite mainstream hegemonies to challenge – is the perception that cutlery need be present at every meal. Foods designed to be eaten sans knife/fork/spoon are far more alluring than those demanding you be seated and vertical for the entire performance. I mean, the napkin was blatantly invented as an unsuccessful attempt to phase out cutlery.
Personally, I hope to one day live in a world where restaurants only supply you with special eating gloves.
Give me a taco any day over awkwardly watching my peas ice skate around my plate as I try in vain to stab them with my fork. Burger, hotdog, ice-cream cone, pluto pup – argument over. In my opinion though, the almighty Godfather of ‘foods you can eat with your hands’ would have to be pizza. One must NEVER trust someone who eats their pizza with a knife and fork.
Testament to the global pizza movement, is the sheer amount of glorious appearances this humble food has made on the big screen. Albeit these slices would now be so radioactively mouldy we would probably all die if we so much as smelled one of them – but let’s go on a sweet retrospective skip down pizza lane.
Pizza played an absolutely pinnacle role in Home Alone. Without the missing cheese pizza – all Kevin wanted – we would have been watching another boring Christmas film called On Holiday Together. The chain of events that ensued from Buzz’s sadistic intervention, were all because of pizza! And remember in Back to the Future II, how they prophesised that 2015 would be the pizza revolution – a world where miniature discs would mutate into whole ready-to-eat pizzas in front of your very eyes? I’m starting to freak out though, because, IT IS CRUNCH TIME. Circa 1999, in She’s All That – a pizza with a pubic hair. Um, that is all. I made pizza the other day to materialise my homage to this delightful food. Instead of dousing it in pubic hair though – I covered it in balsamic onions, kale, huge chunks of mozzarella and strawberries. Because fruit on pizza is like so anti-establishment.
- 1 punnet of strawberries
- Fresh mozzarella (the more the better)
- Handful fresh basil leaves
- Fresh baby kale leaves
- Balsamic onion relish (I made my own using balsamic vinegar, tomatoes, onions, and honey – but bought would be fine)
- 1 cup white flour mixed with 2 cups wholemeal spelt flour
- 1 cup parmesan cheese
- Active yeast – prepared as per box
- Salt & pepper
- Two tablespoons olive oil
- For the dough, mix flour, S&P, Parmesan and oil in a bowl. Once yeast is activated and all foamy (5 – 10 minutes) add it to the flours and work the mix together.
- Kneed on a floured surface and then roll in a ball. Place in an oiled bowl, cover with cling wrap. Put dough in a warm spot and leave it rise for an hour.
- Roll out risen dough and place in an oiled dish. Add toppings and back until mozzarella is perfectly gooey. Top with basil and serve (sans cutlery).